Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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