My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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