dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
