Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
