If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
