Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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