all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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