your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
