And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Two words: blizzard sex
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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