i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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