You work out of a Hotel?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
