he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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