I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
