Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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