EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
What happened to fro yo and sex?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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