Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
the day after is always just damage control
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
