i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Who died my cat blue again?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
