I wish I could teleport
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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