Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
