i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
