Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
