I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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