U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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