Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
