hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
