then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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