Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
