I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
