I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
