I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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