Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
