I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
COCAINE IS GR8
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
