just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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