Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
