Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
