i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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