Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
