Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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