I wish I could teleport
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
