The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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