ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize