and she was petting her beer can
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
