didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
