**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
