i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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