The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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