It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
