i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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