my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
