i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
