I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
