Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We left the knife in your bed.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
