He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize