YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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