Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
