Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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