dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
