planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
