No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
