I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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