I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
