oh god the rape fog is back!
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
