drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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