Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
