So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
